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Best Halloween Candy to Hand Out 2021

October 21, 2021

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By: Dallin Rahlf 

Time is running out. Have you prepared the fort for the hundreds of intruders that will soon tread upon your lawn, walk up to your house, wearing the most intimidating and magical of armor, bang on your very own front door, and then demand something from your home or else they will not leave, perhaps even returning with eggs to decorate your outer walls?

I mean, that IS what trick or treating is, depending on how you want to see it. Alas, it is an awesome and magical time for kids and perhaps even elder teens that get to walk around their neighborhoods, looking to score some big candy for their future consumption. Now, I must ask you, what kind of house do you want to be? Do you want to be the house that is known for giving out some of the best candy on the block, or are you looking to seek vengeance for these intruders by stiffing them altogether OR giving them candy that was once popular in the 1950’s? Whatever your wish is, look no further than the provided words of wisdom from your friend Dallin at the GetOutPass. I’ve been around the block many times, so to speak, and have acquired a vast base of knowledge when it comes to candy.

The G.O.A.T. House

The G.O.A.T house (Greatest Of All Time) is the one your kids’ friends talk about. It’s the one house on the block that everyone needs to go to because they hand out the best candy or it’s got something exciting. It’s the kind of house that is fun, inviting, maybe even a little scary. Scary houses get remembered.

I remember when I was trick or treating with my friend Jared in his neighborhood in Ohio. There was a teacher at our elementary school that lived in his neighborhood, and she put on this incredible haunted garage for kids to go through. It was outstanding how much she could fit into your average two car garage. She had twists and turns, strobe lights, jump scares, scary music, and wow, did it leave an impression on me after all these years. If you don’t feel like handing out some expensive and memorable candy, you can go this route to give the neighborhood something to talk about.

The great thing about the “memorable house” setup is it can be as simple or complex as you want it to be. I have a fun yet haunting memory of casually walking up to a front porch where a bowl of candy was. I picked my piece and noticed that there was this scarecrow costume on the ground. “Cool” I thought. NOPE. IT GRABBED MY LEG. It was one of those scares where I didn’t even yelp; I just froze and accepted that my death was near. So, yeah. Not a very expensive costume for the guy and he will stay in my memory forever. You can make your house fun, cute, scary, super scary—whatever you want! Who says all the fun can only be had by the kids?

If you want to go with the candy route, you’ve got to go above and beyond expectations. If you’re feeling wild, I’d go with baking something you love. It was awesome to come across a house that was handing out chocolate chip cookies for you to munch on right away. However, now that I’m thinking about it, you’d have to bake, like, hundreds of little things. This is certainly above and beyond.

Besides that, full size candy bars are an easy hit. You could also hand out candy that isn’t as popular: my family killed it every year by handing out Airheads. Look around for some bulk buys! You’ll be all the neighborhood can talk about.

The Average House

If the above seems like WAY too much work, I feel you. Some years you just don’t have it in you to give your all to a couple hours one night a year. However, you find yourself still wanting to be a part of the community on the 31st, you want to see the costumes the kids are coming up with nowadays, and you may even like Halloween more than you admit. For you, let’s stick with “fun size” list of candies.

Find your nearest Smith’s, Kroger’s, Albertson’s, or whatever and get you those huge bags of assorted candies that are all fun sized. These are perfect for pleasing the whole crowd and it’s impossible to screw up. Everyone will be happy they stopped by your place and got a tiny Snickers. Besides, some may argue that getting 50 pieces of smaller sized candy is better than 20 pieces of larger sized candy. You may find yourself higher on the popularity poll than you think.

The “Please Just Skip My House This Year”

I had my mind absolutely blown the other day. I was talking with my friend, and I came to learn that she did not like Christmas! She didn’t like the festivities, the commercialism, the overplayed Christmas songs, the colors, the cold weather, the family time, etc. Blew my mind. I learned a valuable lesson that day: not every person likes every holiday! That does not mean we need to shun them. If this is you, and you’re reading because you just hate Halloween, I hope I can bring you some wise counsel on how to get through the 31st of October.

wikiHow providing crucial pictures on how to turn off porch lights

If you want to lessen your chances of people awkwardly coming up to your door, turn off your porch lights and pray that those trick or treaters will understand to spare you. If you don’t mind handing out some candy, put out a bowl and fill her up with any assorted goods. You can leave a note that 70% of kids will ignore that says, “Take only one piece.” This may keep the kids coming all night, but once they see that bowl is empty, they can’t really complain. They’ll move on to the next one.

Now, I don’t highly recommend what I’m about to say. But are you looking for some shenanigans? Are you wanting to be the one person who hands out something that the kids will really talk about? This can be sort of fun to do. With all the hundreds of delicious candies they’re getting, it would almost be totally unjust for kids not to have some lesson that not every house is a goldmine. You can keep their reality in check with some little boxes of raisins or handing out single pennies one by one. Oh man, that’d be awesome. 

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