By: Dallin Rahlf

“Bowling doesn’t need to beyour fall back if all other plans fail. Make it one of your favorite things todo with these helpful tips.”

Bowling night. Does this haveto be something we jump for joy when we hear it? If it’s not, it totally shouldbe! Bowling simply gets too much hate in this world. Culture wants to make itlook like something only older parents get to do on Wednesday nights. To that Isay rubbish! True balderdash!

If you need some tips on howto make any trip to your local bowling alley much more exciting, follow my listhere and we’ll get you settled. Trust me, I’ve bowled like, 34 times in mylife. I’m more or less an expect in all things pin-related.

1. Everyone put up thebumpers and have a good time.

So much of the stress frombowling comes from those darn things that border the left and right side of the lane like crocodileswaiting for you to slip into the murky swamps of the Sahara. Once mistake andBOOM, gutter ball. Good luck having any fun when you’re constantly gettingzeros. That’s why I suggest everyone to use them. Kids, adults, experts—youheard me. “But Dallin, I went bowling 1000 times during college so I couldschool all of my homies with my mad skills. If everyone bowls with bumpers,then suddenly everyone is good at bowling. This is exactly what Syndrome wastalking about in The Incredibles.”

Yeah yeah, I know. But thinkabout it this way: do you want to have fun by yourself, or do you want everyoneto have a good time? If you’re feeling for the latter, then this is the way togo. It’s stress-free, it’s goofy, it’s a simple and fun good time.It makes it more fun, and I imagine you can get some wicked shots with bumpers.Like in billiards, or something.

2. Add in some “low-risk”stakes and play for glory.

If you just read my abovestatement and thought to yourself, “No chance am I ever bowling for a casualgood time,” then I’ve got some good advice for you, my friend. Make the bowlinga competitive dream by adding something worth winning for you and your buddies.Is that a free entree from the grill? A Kohl’s gift card? Or does the loser haveto be the hype man for the winner for the ladies that are definitely checkingyou guys out from the other lane? Whatever it is, find that unique something thatnot only motivates you, but the entire group. When everyone is playing forkeeps, it makes the game that much more intense. The more the intensity, thesweeter the victory. I learned that in Little League Tee Ball.

3. Come up with wacky waysto bowl and draw cards.

You ever see that show SilentLibrary? It was a pretty fun concept—six people at a table draw cards. Of thesix cards there, five of them are safe and one of them is bad. If you draw thebad card, you get to the very difficult challenge. Adopt this into bowling withthe same idea. Draw up a list of difficult ways to bowl and then draw cards.Loser has to bowl for that frame in whatever comes up.

I’ll come up with a couplefor you:

            - Opposite handed

            - Eyes closed (careful on this one. We don’t want the badkind of viral video happening from this.)

            - Through the legs

            - Backwards

            - Slow motion

            - As fast as possible

            - Granny style

            - Hopping on one leg

            - Confess your deepest, darkest secret if you don’t rolla strike

            - Lie on your stomach and push it

Even better, make everyonedo this every round. No one gets a break. You might not be the best regularbowler there is, but you might kill it in this version!

4. Dress for the occasion.

I don’t know about you, butthere’s something fun about updating your wardrobe with some bowling classicsthat you just won’t be able to say no to when you’re looking for that hotoutfit next Friday night. Ditch the cute blouse and go for the silky button upthat demands respect the moment you walk into your local bowling alley. Don’tknow what to get? Don’t worry, this is what I picked up just the other week. 

Heh heh, just kidding. Ifyou’re spending upwards of $100 dollars on a bowling shirt, you’re experiencinga luxury I will likely never know. This will actually take you to some legitoptions. Not only are theycomfortable, but they’re also customizable! You could come up with some awesomename for yourself for your shirt! Or a team name… let’s see what I can whip up.

“Stay Outta My E-Lane”

“Spare-ic”

“The Beautiful Gutterflies”

“Bears. Beets. Bowling.”

“All I Do Is Pin”

And these were just right offtop my dome. You put some effort into it and you could come up with some realgood stuff. You will DEFINITELY be the talk of the town. Get ready to sign someautographs.

5. Go nuts on the food.It’s better than what you think.

I can no longer stand theinjustice that is bowling alley food getting crap for not being good. When isthe last time you went and got some food? You might hear “bowling alley food”and just think that it isn’t good. I have to ask you: is this how you want tolive your life? Are you living your ideals through the hearsay of others? Youcan’t judge until you’ve tried it, and I’m telling you this as a friend, youneed to. There are some real bangers out there. Fat Cats is definitely known for their awesome food. You canfind many Fat Cats locations in Utah, Colorado, Arizona and Colorado.

Am I saying you should book aflight to go bowling out west and try some of their food? No. Am I saying you shouldn’tbook a flight to go bowling out west and try some of their food? Also no.

Bowling can truly be anabsolute blast if you’re willing to let it be fun. Find out if you’re morecompetitive or a casual player with the GetOutPass and visit a local alley nearyou!